So the past couple of weeks have been good, but tough. Man have they been tough. And for lots of reasons. One reason is mainly because I have too many choices on what to do with my life. I’m not good at having all the choices laid out in front of me. I can do anything. Anything at all. And that’s not good. I want to do it all! So how do you narrow down what you want to do with the rest of your life? I guess you start with what you don’t want to do and go from there but that still leaves several options! Do I go back to grad school and get a second master’s degree for a job that may or may not be there? That’s a tough one. I don’t mind getting the second master’s degree but if I can’t use it for a long time then does it even make sense? How do I make a living where I can afford my own homestead and all that goes with that? What else do I want to do with my life besides homestead? I don’t know. I just don’t know!!
The second reason that it’s been tough is because of my instagram. Normally when I post a thought provoking post I get so many good responses. And this time I did as well. However, my real life friends weren’t as kind to me this time. So much so that I shut my instagram down for a few days. I know I shouldn’t put so much into this whole social media thing but as I’m trying to figure out what I want to do with my life I want to build a brand for my homesteading future. I don’t have anything to sell right now but I do want to connect with an online, supportive community. I think I’ve done that via instagram. But it seems that because of that, or despite that, my real life isn’t quite following along. Maybe I’m being sensitive as usual. Or overthinking it. Or whatever but I was not happy with the way that whole situation went down. In fact, I’m so gun shy that just writing this and putting it out there makes me anxious. Maybe I hit a nerve because it feels like some of my real life friendships are one sided as well-as long as I make the effort then all is good, but please don’t ask the other person to reciprocate. Some relationships are in your life to you through different parts of your life. And sometimes they serve their purpose and then move on. I’ve never been one to have life-long friendships. Some friends I’ve had for a lot longer than others. I tend to be emotional and get hurt a lot in friendships and then shy away from those people. But I have to focus on the positive and the positive is that I do have some meaningful relationships that bring me lots of joy and those are the ones I need to focus on. I might not see these people every day but I do keep in contact and I do see them when I can. The are supportive, encouraging, and generous. They are uplifting. Those are the people I want to be around.
SOOOOO, I’ve been giving it some thought. What I would really like to do is focus on my homesteading. I’ve come up with a plan that will take some time to formulate and put into place. I’m starting with applying to grad school. It doesn’t hurt to have that option available and see where that goes. Easy peasy. Then I’ll focus on working with what I have for the homestead-chickens, garden, canning, making things, etc. I can do all this and have fun too. No problem. I’ll explore options for making, and saving, money for the future homestead. I’ll focus on the relationships that bring me happiness, whether they are real life or on social media. Let’s face it most of my peeps on instagram are like minded and very supportive. I had several email me asking if I was okay after I shut down my instagram.
Now for the good. I’m finishing up maple syrup season. I’ll post about that soon. I’m making plans. That makes me happy. I don’t have it all figured out but I will get there. I went for a boat ride on Saturday when it was just gorgeous out! The Mister told me that I should learn to build things for myself so I helped him build a cow enclosure on Easter (not for us). I cleaned out the chicken coop and hung some grit and oyster shell feeders. I’ll give an update on the girls soon. I want to be on this space more and maybe not focus on instagram as much (I can interact there without posting a ton of photos). Oh. And the gin we made? It turned out fantastic! I’ll do a whole post on how to make it. I want to do a second bottle anyway. Those are the fun things. Trial and error things. Making things. Doing things. And having a supportive community, both in real life and elsewhere, that makes this journey worth it. I feel better getting this out there. Now we can all move on and plan the homestead. Tell me-what do you struggle with?