A Year, or Two, in the Making

I took this selfie in January. I felt good about myself. I was heading into what should have been a really good year-several trips planned from the end of January until the beginning of March. And then our normal trips to the Hamptons in June and Cape Cod in October. I was starting to book lots of classes. I had just killed my first deer (something I wasn't sure I would be able to do, but wanted to try so I could have meat in the freezer). I did it. I was really feeling myself back in January. And February. And March. And then we all got knocked on our asses. And I really struggled to find myself and my place in this new world. I stopped taking care of myself. I really struggled with where my business was supposed to go during these trying times. And I struggled. I know I said it already, but I want to paint a clear picture here.

After months of struggling and throwing things out there to see what would stick (not much) I decided to reign it in and take a good, long hard look at everything. I know some people thrived during the pandemic and still continue to thrive. I wasn't one of them. I mean, not initially. But as time went on and I really took a step back I started to see a path forward. I started to see where my little business fit into the bigger picture. And I started to see what I needed to do. And it's going to take a lot of work to get there. I've neglected some back office things as I was trying to get my business up and running. And now I have to take care of that stuff and focus on the bigger picture.

A couple of months ago, I totally walked away from my business in order to give myself some breathing room. I was holding on way too tight trying to make it work in its current form. Instead I needed to take a step back and ask myself what it was that I wanted to do. You might think that that thought came from a mature outlook. But instead, it was in a fit of tears, literally screaming "I don't want to do this!". And then I thought, "well, what do you want to be doing?" And that's when it all started to come into focus. So for those of you out there who think that a logical process happens over here behind the scenes at Chicken Librarian, you would be wrong! But it does work out in the end.

So after that process was finished, I had some conversations with a couple of close confidantes and that really got the ball rolling. And I started booking smaller virtual classes and that helped get me back on track. And I just kept working towards my overall goal. Then I had the opportunity to take a marketing class through my local extension office and I really feel like that was what helped put the final touches on the new, improved Chicken Librarian. It helped me see where my shortcomings were (back office stuff; trying to do too much) and how to really focus in on what I want to be doing. I've had some great one-on-one sessions with people in the industry who really know their stuff. I have my head on straight now and I can see the big picture very clearly now too.

Intentional: done by intention or design

Why am I telling you all this? Why share how hard and complicated and emotional it's been? Because I also want to let you know how good it is too. I started walking again. That picture above has been on my mind for a long time. I was so happy with myself. You can see it in my smirk. I felt good. But I wasn't as clear-headed as I am now. So on my walk this morning the word 'intentional' kept popping up in my head and it makes sense. Merriam-Webster defines Intentional as done by intention of design. I am really trying to be intentional with all things now: self-care, marketing my business, running my business, my relationships-both with my family and with my friends and with my customers and support team. I don't think I had that way back in January. Heck, I didn't even have it back in September! But I do now. I want to walk the path that I have carved out for myself in this homesteading world. I want to reach people who want to know more about it.

You might be asking, 'well, how are you going to achieve all this'? Well, first. I am going to take care of myself. I am going to eat better and exercise more. I brought my treadmill out of storage and set it up in the dining room (of the fishing lodge, not my actual dining room). I'll walk Anna Lee in the woods. We took the time and resources to stock up on food and supplies for winter so I'll have the time to focus on my business. I won't have to work outside the home (hopefully) this winter. I have made plans to expand the garden (I'll share that in a different post, but boy! It's going to be BIG). I'm spending the next 2-3 months working on getting my back office stuff organized, including that darn business plan that I've been talking about for years now! And I'm going to expand my business and expand my resources and knowledge. I want to always keep learning. I don't know everything (nobody does, regardless of what they may think ;)). I'm really excited about the future for the first time in a very long time. It's not going to be easy but I am going to be intentional about it.

I wanted to share all of this with you. I hope it will help you in some small way to know that you're not alone when you think you've had enough. Or that you can't possibly see the other side of a situation. Friends. I've been there. And I hope we can all help each other through to the other side.

'til next time
-k
xoxo