Self-Sufficiency is....

WARNING: graphic animal pictures below

I don't talk about it much on here but we are meat eaters. We mostly always have been (I was a vegetarian when the Mister and I met). But as we strive for self-sufficiency one of the important things is where does our food come from? Is it better to go to the grocery store or the butcher and be removed from the gathering process? Is it better to purchase our meat from a farmer down the road who knows that animal. Who has touched that animal from beginning to end? Or raise our own? Slaughter our own? What about the wild animals? Isn't that the best situation? They are truly free range. No human has ever touched that animal. We take its life, grateful for the opportunity it has provided us.

My ultimate goal would be to provide all we need without ever going to the grocery store. Between what we can raise and harvest from our land (or the land where we are living) and buying from reputable companies in bulk or shopping at the local farm market/farm stand, shouldn't I be able to provide the majority of what we need without spending a bunch of money on things that aren't produced in my local community, or at least within a certain mile radius?

If I'm going to start preaching about self-sufficiency I better be able to walk that walk. And if we're reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle it's really time to get serious about things! If I can't find NY State grown and/or made then I'll expand to organic, non-gmo items. It will take some time, some trial and error, but as I stated above I am re-motivated now. I don't take any of this lightly. It's important and has been for a long time but I got lazy. I got busy. I got tired. But after my experience this past weekend with the deer (more on that below), I am even more grateful for the lessons it taught me.

Let's look at that in more detail. First, we have a garden. I can supply everything we need in said garden, from fresh produce year round by planting seasonally, to preserving what we can't eat during that season, to selling, giving away, or bartering with what is leftover. I can grow and dry beans for soups, stews, extra protein. I can grow, use, freeze, dry all the herbs I could possibly ever want, with the exception of a few. Those that I can't grow, that might not grow well in my area, I can purchase in bulk and store in the pantry. I can find good sources online or at the local Mennonite store. They won't be local but they also won't be purchased at big box stores or the grocery store either.

What about things like flour and sugar for baking, cooking? There are reputable companies out there that you can buy from in bulk from. The local Mennonite store sells things in bulk, including 25-50 pound sacks of both flour and sugar. It's mostly big name companies-Domino sugar, King Arthur Flour. I can look around on the internets and find other companies that do the same. I can even look around and see if I can find NY State grown and processed flour. What about replacing sugar with maple syrup? We have a lot of maple trees on the property. It's a lot of work but I could tap more trees and process more sap into syrup and then start experimenting with using maple syrup in my recipes. Why not? Another sap bucket or three won't hurt. I already tap 6 trees. What's another 3? It all processes down the same at the same time. I just have to be more organized about it. The Mister is building me an outdoor, wood-fired boiler in the spring.

I can purchase 5 gallon food grade plastic pails to store the flour in. I could also mill my own flour. I could grow my own, but I'm not going to. At least not in the foreseeable future. But I can buy a grain mill and purchase whole grains and mill my own. I have a grain mill attachment on my Amazon Wish List with just that goal in mind. But for now, let's stick with purchasing in bulk. And I will. I've been re-motivated to do this. I'll explain why in a few. But let's keep following this train of thought for a moment.

What else is there? Dairy products. I have a local farm that is certified to sell raw milk. That's the milk I've been using, almost exclusively, for a year now. I started a milk delivery in the early months of this year. You order on Sunday and they deliver to the local library on Wednesday. It works really well except those times I use my milk up between deliveries. Then I purchase organic milk at the grocery store. Not as good as the local raw milk, but it works in a pinch. One goal is to get better at knowing how much I need in between ordering so I don't have to spend extra money on milk. But what about the rest? They can't sell cream. But there is another local dairy that I can purchase pasteurized dairy products from. I need to make a point to do that. I can make my own butter from there. Or maybe they sell butter? I need to investigate.

I can make my own cheese from the raw milk. I haven't, but it's on my list. I will move it to the top of the list. I have a small dorm room size fridge that I turned into a cheese cave years ago. I still have everything to do that. So I'll set that back up and start making some easy cheeses. Buttermilk, ricotta, mozzarella, sour cream, cream cheese. None of these need a cheese fridge. The local raw dairy also sells goats milk. I can purchase from them and make my own goat cheese. Again, it doesn't need to age. Then we can expand into cheeses that need to age. I'll need to find a place where I can age the cheese, but that shouldn't be too hard.

I make soap and purchase my supplies from reputable internet sources-Brambleberry, Mountain Rose Herbs, Glory Bee. I've learned a lot about different sources over the years and have, or will, eliminate non-sustainable sources, such as palm oil, once I run out of that ingredient. I don't make my own: dish soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant (although Bekah has a recipe that I want to try as soon as I'm low on my current Tom's of Maine supply), toothpaste, household cleaner (I will research this and try homemade recipes as soon as I'm running low on my current 'environmentally friendly' cleaner). I can purchase a lot of these things that are environmentally friendly. And I use Amazon Prime. It's my compromise. I don't shop at Walmart or any other big box stores unless I have to (what makes it a 'have-to' situation? A shopping list that includes multiple items when I'm in an area without good options. This happens. The closest big town to me in PA doesn't have a lot of good options, especially for a grocery store. I try to avoid going to that town because of the shopping situation but do find myself there about once per month. Now, could I look for other small business options? Of course! But I don't. I do like shopping at Aldi's. It fits my budget. They're getting more and more organic items in. It's still a grocery store. I don't know if I'll ever be able to cut out the grocery store completely, but would it be fun to try? What if in 2020 I set out to be as self-sufficient with as much of this as possible?

Other thoughts about self-sufficiency before we tackle the hard discussion. I've wanted to replace paper towels with cloth napkins for a long time. We're on that journey now. I bought some napkins at a thrift store and will continue to do so until I have enough to change out with the seasons and decorations. I also bought some from Amazon (an 18 pack for $18.99. Red and white gingham that goes with everything!). Now, during the fishing season the paper towels will totally come back out because I'm not using my good cloth napkins for wiping up gross stuff. And that will happen. Trust me. I do try to buy recycled paper towels or more environmentally friendly ones, but that's not always the case depending on where I'm buying them from. Recycling is a little harder here. The closest place to drop off is about 15 minutes away, once per week for 3 hours. You either make the time or it piles up. I did convince the Mister to check prices with our garbage pick up company. During the season we get a lot of packages so to be able to recycle all that cardboard, plus all the other recyclables would be huge. We also discussed ways of making the fishing lodge more environmentally friendly. Reusable coffee cups, environmentally friendly disposable silverware. We'll start tackling that once the current supply is used up. You already know I've found a good source of honey and beeswax until I can get my own bees.

Let's tackle the hard discussion now, and the main reason for this post-meat. I know most people who read my blog are meat eaters, but are you hunters? I wasn't until recently. I've only been out hunting birds one time so I wouldn't consider myself a hunter. But as you all might know, we started sourcing our meat locally this year. We split a whole pig and an order of ground beef with some friends. I haven't found a good source of locally raised chicken yet, and I wasn't prepared to raise my own. Until now. I have a couple of ideas in mind for chicken so I'll have to report back on that. But red meat and pork. I'll continue to use my local source for pork. And for the ground beef. I like their product. I know they raise their animals in the best way possible. But I have to pay for it. Wild game I don't. And I'm not prepared at the moment to raise my own meat animals. I never thought I would be able to take an animals life. I honestly was to the point that if I can't do it then I really have no need to eat meat. I mean, if I want to do this whole self-sufficiency lifestyle then I need to be able to raise a meat animal and do the deed. Will I be able to take a pig's life? I'm not sure, but at the very least I should be able to raise chickens and do the deed when the time comes. I haven't been able to, so what made me think I would be able to take a wild animal's life? I didn't know. But I did it. I harvested my first deer. Now, before everyone gets all up in arms about this, let's talk about it. A deer is wild. It hasn't been touched by human hands. ever. It's completely free range. They're overpopulated so good conservation management means that you harvest X amount of does and X amount of bucks each year to keep the population in check. Now, will nature take its course? Of course. When we were in the tree stand this past weekend, we saw a lone doe. That's unusual. Deer are definitely herd animals. My guide explained a few things to me. I literally know nothing about wild game, hunting, etc. So he was telling me that a lone doe could mean a couple of things. First, it could mean that she aborted a pregnancy and was coming back into heat. Or she didn't get pregnant to begin with and was coming back into heat. So she is on her own looking for a little loving so she can reproduce. He also explained to me that a doe with a buck offspring will kick him out of the herd so there's no competition between bucks when it comes time to reproduce. It's all very interesting to me. Something I wasn't inclined to learn until I was actually sitting in that tree stand. You see, I didn't even think I could climb the tree stand, let alone pick up a gun, sight in the deer, and then pull the trigger. But I did. It was a clean shot (thank God) and the deer went down almost immediately. No suffering. I was shaking. I couldn't believe it. And then we went to retrieve the deer and I cried. I cried tears of thankfulness. I cried because I took an animals life. But I also thanked that deer for providing me with food. Food that I know is good. It's local. It's free range. It hasn't ever been touched by humans. It's lived a good life.

I also want to address what we're doing with that deer. I plan on using everything from the deer. I'll turn the legs into something decorative--either a gun holder a coat rack. Something just so it doesn't go to waste. I'll use the tallow in soap making. I want to experiment with it so I'll know if it's usable in a way I need it to be. I'll tan the hide and make a blanket. We'll use the offal to feed the animals. Not much will go to waste here. It never will. I will continue to use as much of any animal that I kill. I even order everything that I can when I order a whole pig-offal, fat, bones.

And that brought me to this post. What is self-sufficiency? I guess we all have different versions of what it is to us and our lives. Mine has always been to get away from the grocery store as much as possible (I mean, if I make chicken piccata, I need capers. And lemons. I can't provide those). But in my mind I've wanted to be able to provide as much as I can for the homestead. But didn't know if I could. Now I know I can, and I will. I will treat this taking of life as it should be treated-with respect and appreciation. Every time I eat meat I will know where it comes from. I will continue to seek out sources from reputable companies.

I've been scared to try some things in the past. I have homemade lard sitting in the fridge. I should use it in my pie crusts rather than butter. I have the lard. I rendered it myself from the pig we bought this past spring. I bought the butter at a grocery store. Which is better? The lard from the pig I bought this year? Or the butter mass produced from the grocery? I'm not scared to try it anymore. Now I'm finally grasping where my food comes from. I know that may sound silly or confusing or you might just not understand it. I mean, a self-sufficient wannabe afraid to try something. I didn't grow up like that. My Dad did. But I didn't. I grew up in the 'processed food and chemicals are good for you' early days (the '80s, hello!!). So to switch that mindset, really switch it, has been slow going. I overthink it too much. Will it hurt me? Did I process it correctly? Is it gross? But I know my level of abilities and I know my astute attention to details so I shouldn't be afraid. And now I won't be.