Friends. Can we talk about something? If you know me, you know that I make every effort to be as transparent as possible. I am pretty much an open book. It’s true. But I think there’s certain stigmas around the female body, no? I know we’re making leaps and bounds lately, but we still don’t talk about things. Like Menopause. We all know about it, but we don’t sit around the kitchen table and talk about the hot flashes, the anxiety, the insomnia. The weight gain. Oh the weight gain. And how that can all affect our health-our physical health, our mental health, and our emotional health. And we don’t talk about the fact that some of us go through this transition in our 40’s. We all expect it to be something that ‘happens later’, like in our 50’s or something. But no one tells you it can start in your late 30’s and take 10 years. That’s right. 10 years. But I’m here now, going through it, and I want to talk about it.
In the beginning
I started seeing signs a few years ago. Heavier than normal periods. The occasional hot flash, mostly in the summer so it wasn’t as noticeable. Then my periods started getting wonky. Every 3 months. Twice in one month. And now, nothing. I’ll be honest. I like the ‘no period’ aspect of menopause. Because, umm, hello. 30+ years of dealing with this. I’m ready for a break. But I was in no way prepared for all the other side effects of menopause. And when they hit, you know they’re there.
About two or three weeks ago I started noticing that I was getting intense hot flashes. Like intense. Sweat inducing hot flashes. Wake-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-drenched-in-sweat hot flashes. Gross. And then you smell. Of course you smell. You’re sweating like you just ran 3 miles. In the heat of summer. And the anxiety. Y’all. My normal state is to be anxious. If I keep someone waiting. Oh boy! I don’t like it. But the anxiety of menopause? Ridiculous. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, minding my own business when out of nowhere, bam! Anxiety inducing crying spell. What? I’m a crier. Always have been. Always will be. That’s not unusual. I watch a TV commercial and can cry. So that’s not a huge deal for me. But the anxiety that comes from nowhere and hits you hard. That’s unusual.
So I knew it was time to address this thing that was happening to my body. I’ve gained weight this past year. I blame it on the pandemic and all that went with that. Some people were living their best life, making a living, getting in shape. Me? I was a bag o’ nerves trying to navigate my fledging business and I gained weight. I don’t know that I changed anything-eating habits, sugar intake. It just happened. I didn’t exercise like I used to. That took a back seat. I get it. I’m not happy about it, but I get it. But then I started exercising. And watching what I eat. And I didn’t lose anything. Nope. Not one pound. Then the anxiety and hot flashes and the insomnia settled in. And I started researching. And bingo! Menopause! That might not explain all the weight gain, but it makes sense in my head. And once I know what I’m up against, I can formulate a plan. And that’s exactly what I did!
Formulating a plan
So. I’m not a person who runs to the doctor for everything. I mean, if I’m sick and I need a doctor of course I’ll go. I’m prone to cellulitis. This happens when I get a blister and I don’t take care of it. I’ve had it happen so many times that when I start seeing the telltale red streaks, I immediately get antibiotics. So. I’m not an eschewer of doctors. I’m an eschewer of chemicals and adding things unnecessarily to my body. I just try to do things more naturally. So I started doing research and discovered some things that could help.
But first, let’s discuss those symptoms of menopause. Or at least the ones I’ve noticed. 1). Hot flashes. Sweat inducing, gross hot flashes. They hit you out of nowhere and then you get so cold. So you peel off layers to avoid the hotness and then you put on more layers because you’re now freezing. Hot flashes are exacerbated by caffeine, alcohol. Guess who loves coffee and wine? I can give up alcohol, but I’m finding coffee to be harder. In fact, I’m sitting here with a cuppa as I type this out. 2) insomnia. Not the ‘I can’t fall asleep’ kind of insomnia. Nope. The ‘it’s 3AM again and I cannot fall back asleep. And now my mind is racing with all the things I should have done. Or should have said. Or how am I going to make my business succeed?’ At 3AM? You’re not. You know what’s going to help your business succeed? Getting some sleep. 3) Anxiety. I’m not sure I need to mention anything else about this. I think you get the point. 4) weight gain. Again. Do I need to say anything more? The weight gain can be centered around your abdomen (umm…hello there belly fat. Where’d you come from?) and therefore cause all kinds of other health issues. Diabetes? Check. Heart disease? double check. Osteoporosis? Double, Double check.
The plan
So in an effort to fight off the effects of menopause, I’ve formulated a plan, based on research-both reading books and perusing the internet.
- Supplements: I’ve decided on the following supplements: calcium with Vit D, milk thistle, magnesium, vit B complex, and ashwagandha. I won’t go into details since I’m not a medical professional. You should do what you are comfortable with. See a professional. Do your own research. Find a healer. What ever works best for you.
- Exercise: I need to start this again. I feel better and I know that eventually it will help with my weight. So walking and then some gentle yoga. Strength training is recommended but I am not set up for that. So yoga will have to do. And I really like yoga. I just need to remember that it is going to take longer to lose the weight now.
- Cut out the crap: You are what you eat, right? So I need to clean it up. I’ve been very busy lately and not meal planning. So I’ll go back to that and I know it will help. I feel so much better when I eat right. And exercise
- No more alcohol; decrease caffeine intake: I know I should give up coffee, at least for a little while. But I can’t. I have started drinking more hot tea, but y’all. I love coffee. I’ve decreased my intake to one cup per day. And alcohol I’ll gladly give up. I don’t feel good drinking it any more. My body metabolizes it differently since I’ve entered perimenopause (I realize that now. I didn’t at the time) and I don’t want to wake up feeling bad anymore (even with just one drink, I feel horrible the next day). I have noticed that the hot flashes are not nearly as intense since I’ve decreased both of these things.
- Hydrate: I don’t drink enough water. Period. My body requires tons of water. It always has. And now I’m sweating like a fool and I’m not refilling it. Speaking of, you’d think I’d be losing tons of weight from how much I sweat. But. *shrugs shoulders*
That’s it. That’s my plan. I’ll start working on the exercise, diet, and hydration end of things. I’ve already started the supplements and have noticed a small change. I know this is mostly something we just have to get through, but if I can help decrease some of the side effects, I’m all for it! And I just know that taking better care of myself is the best thing to do. It’s amazing what a woman’s body to go through and what all it can handle. And by taking really good care of ourselves, it can only get better.
Linking up for Farm Fresh Tuesdays and Party in Your PJs, because this is about as real and fresh as I can get. xoxo
’til next time
-k
xoxo
Tracy
Oh, Kristin, I hear you! So, I have to admit, I have felt VERY ALONE with this topic. As I mentioned on Instagram in a comment to you, every doctor (female physicians, by the way) that I have brought issues and symptoms up to have literally said: well, once you haven’t had your period for a year, then you are in menopause and we can talk / explore your options / etc. And when I reply with, well, what about peri-menopause? A shrug follows and then, well, yes, maybe. Ask your mother what it was like for her. AND that is that. Seriously?
I started realizing something was going on after 40. (I’m 48 now.) Timing and duration changes, the weight gain – and the inability to drop it. The weight gain is horrible. I was a skinny girl and then a woman with a nice shape. Now… Sometimes I could cry. Hot flashes: had ’em but in truth, I am hot all of the time and always have been. Bets were placed on possible spontaneous combustion once I hit menopause and had my first hot flash. *wry smile*
BUT, what you haven’t listed is what I was really plagued with and please, let’s add it: Adult acne.
Now, I had some blemishes as a teen, but was pretty fortunate. I had it easier than most. Then, in my early 40s, I started to get hit with acne. Okay, now I’m fat and covered in acne. Oh, and what is this? Rosacea? Well, let’s just take down the mirrors, put a bag over my head, and call it a day. 🙁
And this went on for years. Like you, I’m not one to run to doctors for every little thing AND I’m not big on taking medicine. But last year I finally made the decision to go to a dermatologist. The wonderful Physician’s Assistant (a man old enough to be my father), listened to me talk about peri-menopause and said, yes, you are indeed dealing with peri-menopause and the acne is likely related. And I can help. (Wow, he actually listened!) He also told me that he had a daughter about my age who has gone through the same thing and explained her experience with the acne as well.
He prescribed Spironolactone and at my second visit to report in how it was working, added another prescription called Minocycline. And guess what? The acne is GONE. Gone! I can’t tell you how much this has helped me feel better about myself these days. The rosacea is still there, but frankly, although related to this time of life and hormones, it’s also influenced by my current diet – which consists of a LOT of spicy foods (yup, brings on the rosacea) and wine. Like you, as I aged, alcohol affects me more. But, I still enjoy wine from time to time. Anyhow, let me be clear: I’m not advocating that people take a prescription drug, but I wish someone would have told me about these possible prescription remedies. I was so embarrassed for years. And now, I feel better.
By the way, I tried SO MANY “natural” remedies for the acne and nothing worked. I also stopped wearing make-up, have always enjoyed drinking water, and have a fairly healthy (but not perfect) diet.
This past year has not been good for the weight. Like you, I put on more. March is going to see some big life changes, and I am prioritizing a more active daily life. (Nothing like a tech job to keep you sedentary all day.)
Thank you for opening this topic up. This isn’t a topic that’s being discussed in my immediate circle of “close to my age” friends / family. I look forward to reading the other comments as they come in!
chickenlibrarian
Oh dear! Well, it seems like the ‘not talking about it, not dealing with it’ issue is rampant. Why is that? Why can’t someone help us with the side effects of menopause BEFORE we hit menopause. The symptoms are the same: hot flashes, weight gain, insomnia, anxiety, acne, and on and on. Why can’t they tell us what supplements and vitamins to take? Why can’t they help us with our lifestyle, diet, etc. Ease our pain a little.
I had acne as a kid and on into adulthood. I haven’t noticed any changes to that. My skin has been fairly acne free unless I don’t take my makeup off at night. Or I’d get the occasion break out before my period (why do we call it that anyway?) but nothing to do with menopause. I have noticed more rosacea the past few years, but it’s not bad. And I haven’t associated it with menopause. Until now.
I do have brittle nails. That just started at the same time as the hot flashes and insomnia. I forgot to mention that. I thought I’d give the supplements some time to kick in before I looked at supplements for that. I don’t want to overdo it with the supplements. I have a hard enough time swallowing the 5 pills per day as it is.
I hope your lifestyle changes coming up in March will be helpful! I started walking and doing yoga (just started) but so far I do feel better. I don’t think it’s helping with the actual menopause issues but it’s mentally helpful. And I’m just walking…nothing fancy yet. And a gentle stretching yoga before bed is helping me not ‘tense’ up from the day’s activities.
keep us posted on your activity and how things are going. We’re here for each other! xoxo
Carol
Kristin I have lived through so much of what you described. I started having hot flashes at 40 and the doctor asked me why I was going thru menopause so early. Like i’ know? I’m over 70 now and I still have an occasional flash where I think my head will catch on fire. I use those freezer blue packs (get in drug stores for pain) and hold to my neck on jugular vein to lower my temp fast! I’m on a diet of real food with plenty of veggies – it does make a difference in so many ways. Beautiful post! Pinned and shared.
chickenlibrarian
Thank you Carol for your kind words of encouragement and for pinning. I don’t think much has changed in the past 30+ years when it comes to menopause, doctors, and there not being much ‘help’ in the way of side effects. I’m also glad to know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel in terms of most of these side effects ending one day. The sleep, or lack thereof, is really starting to bother me. I don’t have as much ‘awake at 3:30AM since I started the supplements, but I toss and turn all night long. And the hot flashes, I’m not going to lie, are really taking their toll on me too. It’s completely changing the way I dress. And feel. Yuck.
Anyway, thanks again for stopping by! xoxo
CoCo
Thank you for writing this post, Kristin. I just read an article this morning about the shame that is associated with menopause and how there are virtually no resources online or because women just don’t talk about it and medical professionals just don’t address it. While I’m not there just yet it helps to know what to expect and what things can be done to help. I need to work on healthier eating and losing pandemic pounds as well. They’ve definitely thrown me for a loop. Thanks for this helpful post and for being so brave, CoCo
chickenlibrarian
That’s very interesting, Coco. I haven’t been to see a doctor because I presume they’re either going to tell me there’s nothing they can do (likely scenario) or they’re going to recommend hormone replacement therapy (my biggest fear). I feel better since taking the supplements and I know that diet and exercise play a huge role in it all (in most of life, actually). I’ve started my walking and yoga routine, and while it hasn’t exactly helped with the peri-menopause, it has helped me feel better. Thank you for your kind words! And for stopping by! xoxo
Tracy
Kristin,
HRT – my two cents (based on my former life working for a non-profit serving breast cancer survivors): Do your research on the risks of HRT (esp. related to breast cancer). And remember, a doctor’s recommendation is sometimes just that… a recommendation! 🙂 Succinct resource, see #29: https://bccr.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Coalition-31-Truths.pdf
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(Disclosure, I worked for BCCR for several years.)